Well, it's been a month since my last entry. A Reader's Digest Condensed update--we had a great Christmas in Kentucky with Ken's extended family. Then we spent a few days in the Pigeon Forge area. Rented a cabin and had a nice getaway. In the wee hours of New Year's Day Ken proposed. Of course I said yes!!!!
So. Lotsa changes on the horizon. Neither of our houses is large enough for both of us. WHERE will we live? Enter the eye tic. Those who know me really well know that I'm a nester. Have been since I was a little kid. Even when my age was in single digits I loved to go wallpaper shopping and tour model homes and spent lots of time deciding on things in my room. What would be on the nightstand? What would be on the dresser? I'd arrange accessories and rearrange the furniture. If I wasn't doing things to my bedroom then I was rearranging doll furniture and making sure all dolls had comfortable beds or a good place to sleep in the playroom. (Early warning signs of my eventual issues of thread count in sheets and my Holy Grail search for the perfect pillow?) A year or two ago when I got a new area rug in the living room it took me weeks to find the perfect new throw pillows for the couch and many more days to finalize their setting and placement.
So, the eye tic. Stress gives me eye tics and especially around my left eye. I love Ken a bushel and a peck (and a hug around the neck) and have no doubt about our life together. But where would we live???? How could we set a date if we didn't know where? A house would have to be found and then the gargantuan tasks of going through all our stuff and we have A LOT of stuff. My left eye ticked and twitched. People surely thought I was winking and flirting with them as they gave their congratulations which only caused the tic to increase. Jeez O'Pete.
Mom loved the restaurant A Country Affair--just west of Crawfordsville. They had a large painting of a bright and warm orange poppy against a dark blue background. One visit there she was wearing a navy shirt with large orange poppies on it. She had her picture taken in front of the painting and I've always loved that image of her. It was maybe 10-12 years ago. Her health was pretty good and it's an image that shows personality and joy on her face. Hadn't seen that picture in quite awhile and I'd been thinking about it these last couple weeks. Last weekend during some ridding and sorting I found it! I FOUND IT!
I've needed her a a lot lately. Big time in my life. Big changes to come. I just *needed* her. Having that picture has made such a huge difference. Silly as it sounds, that pesky eye tic is greatly diminished. We've set a date and chosen the venue. We have a contractor coming to look at my house and see if it's feasible (and affordable) to convert attic space and maybe build up over the garage. If not then we'll look for a house. Besides all the work that's been done to my house, Mom, Daddy, Aunt Karen, Gabby, and other important people in my life who've all since died have been here and left it full of memories. Silly me. I know that memories are in my heart but it's just so hard to think of leaving here.
Back to that photograph. It soothed me. Calmed me. Made my usually stoic self return once again. If the house can be enlarged, good. If not, I can focus on the excitement of Ken and I looking for a new house and us making a new home. I'm sure I'll still obsess over the throw pillows and futz, and futz, and refutz on those and a gazillion other things minute to others but major to me.
A glance at that picture of Mom--dancing ice blue eyes and enigmatic closed mouth smile--and I can do anything!
